Tuesday, September 09, 2003

"Pro-Life" or Just Control Freaks?

Dear Editor,

Much debate surrounds the proposed over-the-counter sale of the “Morning-After” pill. Some claim it will lead to an increase in “frivolous sexual behavior”. While it could certainly be expected to cause a decline in the number of abortions, why do they think it would lead to sexual “frivolity”.

This criticism is an amazing stretch of the imagination touted by a group of people responsible for much supposedly “conservative” ideology. We’ll call these people “False Christians” or F.C.’s (I’m absolutely sure that Christ would be embarrassed at the association). The F.C.’s use this type of political subterfuge all the time to keep our attention off the real issues. Issues like war-profiteering, voter fraud, corporate welfare, massive retraction of civil liberties and imperialism. You know, things that actually matter! If these F.C.’s truly cared about morality or the sanctity of life, why would they blindly support the bombing of a civilian population who had nothing to do with 9/11 (which they statistically did, in droves)? I’ll tell you why. Because they’re misinformed hypocrites who are easily lead.

This silly inference that sexual behavior should always be necessary, and, therefore, not “frivolous”, reminds me of the opening scene from Monty Python's, "Meaning of Life". Puffing pretentiously on his pipe, Michael Palin, playing a stuffy Protestant, looks with obvious contempt at his Catholic neighbor’s inconceivably, staggeringly huge brood and pontificates, "Look at those bloody Catholics! Every time they make love they have to have a baby.” After a thoughtful pause, his middle-aged wife responds, saying “And how are we different, Dear? We’ve made love twice and we have two children.”

Bill O’Reilly invited those who wish to bring our country down to go live in Iraq. I agree! Lets send all of the felons who wish to defile our laws and restrict our freedoms back to their ideological homelands! We can send O’Reilly to Nazi Germany, Bush to the Saudi Emirates, Ashcroft to Iran and Falwell to China. These extremely repressive societies should make these moral ideologues feel right at home. They can dictate hypocrisy and legislate morality to their heart’s content. Meanwhile, true Americans can continue to believe in a little thing called “the Constitution”. One might notice that the founding fathers neglected to place little quotation marks around the word, FREE.

Matt Funiciello

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